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Well, here's an interesting tag. Kitsunerose93 tagged me for a seme/uke quiz. I figured I was going to end up scoring as an uke, but I had a pretty interesting result:

You are a Romantic Seme!

A true romantic, you're safest sticking with a partner who is gentle and can appreciate your mature, loving ways and protective nature. Most often found with a handful of roses and wine, you are committed to your partner and their happiness, which makes you a perfect match for the Innocent Uke, who you will dedicate yourself to and lavish with gifts and attention.

Most compatible with: Innocent Uke, Clueless Uke
Least compatible with: Badass Uke, Dramatic Uke

--

Intelligent and honest, the Romantic Seme has refined but modest tastes - whether it's food, art, or their own wardrobe. Their appearance can sometimes give the impression of being somewhat unapproachable, when actually, the Romantic Seme cares little for materialistic things, and only wants to shower their partner with their love and protection. Romantic Seme also tend to be very giving to those they are close to, and need to be careful not to be too giving... sacrificing much of themselves to insure the happiness of others.

Other common traits of the Romantic Seme include being: loyal, romantic, thoughtful, protective, honorable, passionate, and trusting.

The Romantic Seme personality best (but not always) corresponds with these associations:

Japanese Element: Water

Chinese Zodiac: Pig

Color: Royal Blue

Fruit: Strawberries

Dessert: Chocolate Truffles

Theme Song: Eternal Ring by Morikawa Toshiyuki

--

Well, that was fun. I just wish there were more answers to choose from for the questions, because half of the questions had no response that I would normally give. It got slightly annoying at times, but well.

In all honesty, I don't see myself being specifically "seme" or "uke." I have characteristics of both, and desires for both. I'll just be whoever I or my partner feels like that night.

I tag:

1.
2.
3.
4.

And here's the link to the quiz for all of you victims: [link] I sincerely apologize for any damage caused to your brains.

I found this interesting fear meme on strolling-minstrel's and Honey-sempai's pages. I thought I'd try it out and see just how fearful I am P=.

A
[ ] Achluophobia - Fear of darkness.
[ ] Acrophobia - Fear of heights.
[x] Agliophobia - Fear of pain. (Not a serious fear, it doesn't control my life, but I definitely like to avoid pain.)
[ ] Agoraphobia - Fear of open spaces or crowds.
[ ] Aichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects.
[ ] Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car.
[ ] Androphobia - Fear of men.
[ ] Anginophobia - Fear of angina or choking.
[ ] Anthrophobia - Fear of flowers.
[ ] Anthropophobia - Fear of people or society.
[ ] Aphenphosmphobia - Fear of being touched.
[ ] Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
[ ] Arithmophobia - Fear of numbers.
[ ] Astraphobia - Fear of thunder and lightning.
[ ] Ataxophobia - Fear of disorder or untidiness. (I hate disorder, but I'm not afraid of it, heheh.)
[ ] Atelophobia - Fear of imperfection.
[ ] Atychiphobia - Fear of failure. (Ugh, I CANNOT accept failure, but I'm not afraid of it.)
[ ] Autophobia - Fear of being alone.

Total so far: 1

B
[ ] Bacteriophobia - Fear of bacteria.
[ ] Barophobia - Fear of gravity.
[ ] Bathmophobia - Fear of stairs or steep.
[ ] Batrachophobia - Fear of amphibians.
[ ] Bibliophobia - Fear of books.
[ ] Botanophobia - Fear of plants.

Total so far: 1

C
[ ] Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.
[ ] Catagelophobia - Fear of being ridiculed publicly.
[ ] Catoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors.
[ ] Chionophobia - Fear of snow.
[ ] Chromophobia - Fear of colors.
[ ] Chronomentrophobia - Fear of clocks.
[x] Claustrophobia - Fear of confined spaces.
[ ] Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns.
[ ] Cyberphobia - Fear of computers.
[ ] Cynophobia - Fear of dogs.

Total so far: 2

D
[ ] Dendrophobia - Fear of trees.
[ ] Dentophobia - Fear of dentists.
[ ] Domatophobia - Fear of houses.

Total so far: 2

E
[ ] Ecophobia - Fear of the home.
[ ] Elurophobia - Fear of cats.
[ ] Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers.
[ ] Equinophobia - Fear of horses.

Total so far: 2

G
[ ] Gophobia - Fear of marriage.
[ ] Genuphobia - Fear of knees.
[ ] Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public.
[ ] Gynophobia - Fear of women.

Total so far: 2

H
[ ] Heliophobia - Fear of the sun.
[ ] Hemophobia - Fear of blood.
[ ] Herpetophobia - Fear of reptiles.
[ ] Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words.
[ ] Hydrophobia - Fear of water.

Total so far: 2

[ ] Itrophobia - Fear of doctors.
[ ] Insectophobia - Fear of insects.

Total so far: 2

K
[ ] Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms.

Total so far: 2

L
[ ] Lekophobia - Fear of the color white.
[ ] Lilapsophobia - Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes. (Of course I don't want to be killed by a tornado, but that fear doesn't follow me in day-to-day life.)
[ ] Lockiophobia - Fear of childbirth.

Total so far: 2

M
[ ] Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking.
[ ] Melanophobia - Fear of the color black.
[ ] Microphobia - Fear of small things.
[ ] Mysophobia - Fear of dirt and germs. (Pfft, I eat things off the floor on a regular basis.)

Total so far: 2

N
[x] Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things. (Oh yeah...big time....)
[ ] Noctiphobia - Fear of the night.
[ ] Nosocomephobia - Fear of hospitals.

Total so far: 3

O
[x] Obesophobia - Fear of gaining weight. (Another big time...)
[ ] Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
[ ] Ombrophobia - Fear of rain.
[ ] Ophidiophobia - Fear of snakes.
[ ] Ornithophobia - Fear of birds.

Total so far: 4

P
[ ] Papyrophobia - Fear of paper.
[ ] Pathophobia - Fear of disease.
[ ] Pedophobia - Fear of children.
[ ] Philophobia - Fear of love.
[ ] Phobophobia - Fear of being afraid.
[ ] Podophobia - Fear of feet.
[ ] Porphyrophobia - Fear of the color purple.
[ ] Pteridophobia - Fear of ferns.
[x] Pteromerhanophobia - Fear of flying. (It's way better now, but I used to be SO afraid. There's still a sort of remnant there.)
[ ] Pyrophobia - Fear of fire.

Total so far: 5

S
[ ] Scolionophobia - Fear of school.
[ ] Selenophobia - Fear of the moon.
[ ] Sociophobia - Fear of social evaluation.
[ ] Somniphobia - Fear of sleep.

Total so far: 5

T
[ ] Tachophobia - Fear of speed.
[ ] Technophobia - Fear of technology.
[ ] Tonitrophobia - Fear of thunder.
[ ] Trypanophobia - Fear of injections.
[x] Tychiphobia – Fear of accidents. (Car accidents especially.)

Total so far: 6

V-Z
[ ] Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women.
[ ] Verminophobia - Fear of germs.
[ ] Wiccaphobia - Fear of witches and witchcraft.
[ ] Xenophobia - Fear of strangers
[ ] Zoophobia - Fear of animals

Total overall: 6

Yeah, I have things that inspire fear in me, just like everyone does, but they're generally not serious. They don't haunt me and control me like they do some other poor individuals. I'd say my big things that could be categorized as phobias would be the fears of death, time, and gaining weight. I'm out of the major cycles I was in now, but they relapse from time to time and when they do, the effects are absolutely terrible.

But well, you guys don't need to worry about that. I think that nowadays I'm a healthy individual ^^.

----------

So, I think the busy part of my year is coming to a close. There are are 3 weeks left of marching band stuff. After that, I'll be back on track as far as drawing, writing, and cosplaying goes. I kind of miss all of you on dA D8. I need to grasp onto my chance to socialize again XD. And geez, I'll actually get to see my family and friends again. I hype that.

Ugh, I really don't want to see another season end, though. Marching band is so fun, it's really the best time of the year. *Sigh.*

When the season ends, I think I'm going to post a long journal with a huge summary of the past few months and my plans for the future. I think it'll be a cool little thing to start the next chapter of the year. (And I'll definitely start working on all of your requests so that you guys can stop hammering me. Haha.)

Talk to you all later. ~

Ugh I'm as tired as crap right now and I'm so tired of having no time to do anything.

Seriously, it's the football season trauma right now. I'm either at school, at band practice, at a football game/competition, or doing homework. I don't have the time to draw or write or work on cosplay or go through my inbox (currently at 72 Deviations and 28 Messages...the Messages part WAS worse, but the Deviations is at a record). I'm kind of getting tired of it. I would really, really like some time to draw. The urge has been nagging at me for way too long. And not to mention, some of you still have requests and commissions pending. Ugh.

Although, I always have to marvel at how even though, at this time of the year, my schedule gets as tight as it could ever be and I have almost 0 free time, it's my favorite part of the year. All of the stress, all of the cramming and late nights and struggling to finish homework assignments and having to keep from talking to anyone for days so I can get it all done is all worth it when I'm marching those seven minutes on the football field. Marching band takes a crapload of time away, but it's so unbelievably fun that I really don't care. I actually kind of enjoy having to give away so much time to band. If it was anything else, I would hate it.

It's a pretty divided issue. True, I really, really want some free time, dear god I do, but at the same time, I love doing band all the time. It's weird, but awesome.

I don't think I'm actually writing this journal to tell you guys why I'm constantly absent all of a sudden...I'm writing it just for the sake of writing. And because I'm tired as crap I can't think of some way to tie the stuff together and sum it up with a nice concluding paragraph, so I'm just going to go.

Peace, guys. I'll see if I can get back to you all on Wednesday (my off-day) or the weekend. <3

I saw this on KitsuneRose93's page. The way she wrote everything so honestly inspired me to do this, too. (You have a beautiful inner voice, Demy.) So, here goes. I'll try to be as honest as possible, too.


Ten things I wish I could say to people:

1. Why would you do that?
2. You've told me before that you really want to reach that goal. So why do you give up so easily? If you have the audacity to simply give up as soon as the going gets tough, then I can't believe that you really want it so badly at all.
3. I love you, I truly do, but for some reason I can't say it.
4. All I want is for you to tell me that you care. All this fighting, all this stubbornness, it's only my own insecurity trying to prove that you really do.
5. Why are you always so quick to assume and so reluctant to seek the truth?
6. The reason I don't like you is because you don't like yourself.
7. Why are you always so ready to accept the worst? Why don't you, for once, think optimistically and strive for a better tomorrow?
8. I hope that one day, I wouldn't have to be afraid of you simply because I've never met you before.
9. This is my girlfriend.
10. I know a lot more than I say.

Nine things about myself:

1. One of those simple acts that make me the happiest I've ever been is when people ask me "why." When people ask me to explain my passion of music and how I feel when I hear or make it; how I met my girlfriend and why I love her; why I'm more passionate than other teenagers my age in simplicity, recycling, and going green; why simple, sometimes meaningless things make me cry; all these sorts of actions just enlighten my day so much because they show that the questioner truly cares.
2. I used to be the kind of person I hate: lazy, procrastinator, cries when she didn't get what she wants when she didn't even make an effort to get it in the first place. When I came to high school band, though, and realized that excelling over the other players wasn't something that would be handed to me on a silver platter, I developed a totally different attitude on life.
3. I've always found it hard and awkward to say "I love you," even to someone I'm passionate about, and I hate it.
4. Pink is my favorite color, but I am totally not a stereotypical girly-girl at all. You would never expect me to love pink until I told you. The reason I love it is because it seems to be a little different from every other color in the spectrum: bold, almost unnatural, and the color just makes me smile and be happy.
5. I used to be a cat person, but when I underwent my attitude change in high school, I became a dog person. Interesting to think about. (That's not to say I still don't love cats, though.)
6. I knew that I wanted to be a traditional animator when I was 6 years old.
7. I love "getting lost" in things. It's one of the best feelings in the world.
8. I'm agnostic. In all reality, I could care less what happens in the afterlife. I care about this life I have and living it to its full potential. I'm so passionate about it that I didn't even realize that it was strange that I didn't have a religion until I was 14/15 years old.
9. The thing I want most in this life is longevity.

Eight ways to win my heart:

1. Love yourself.
2. Be optimistic.
3. Be passionate about the things you take an interest in. Show me how passionate you are.
4. Love life.
5. Tell me how you truly and deeply feel about something, even if you sound totally cheesy.
6. Be grateful for the small things. Just go outside, sit on your roof, and watch the sunset every once and a while.
7. Strive for success in what you do. Don't accept "good enough" and definitely don't expect things to be handed to you without working for them.
8. Show me that you care, and know that I'm insecure about it.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot:

1. I can't wait for band practice.
2. I wonder what things would be like if...
3. I think I had too many calories today...
4. *Daydreaming about FMA.*
5. *Daydreaming about band.*
6. *Daydreaming about my GF.*
7. That's so beautiful.

Six things I do before I fall asleep:

1. Take a nice shower.
2. Look at myself in the mirror.
3. If it's going to be a hard night, turn on the iLive with some soft soundtracks playing.
4. Make sure the blinds are open enough so that the outside word can't see in, but I can see out, so that I'll be able to wake up to the sunrise in the morning.
5. Clean up whatever mess I had made in my room that day.
6. Think about either an idea or life.

Five places I want to visit:

1. Europe
2. Japan
3. Latin America
4. A farmland
5. A forest

Four things I'm wearing right now:

1. Knee-length jean shorts
2. A black striped shirt
3. A black belt
4. My favorite underwear.

Three bands that I listen to often:
1. Queen
2. Linkin Park
3. Any musical soundtrack.

Two things I want to do before I die:

1. Get an idea out into the world.
2. Visit all the countries in the world I can.

One confession:

1. I can be very insecure and doubtful, both of myself and external things. But I've been changing over the course of my life, continually and without pause, to become a new person who sees, hears, and feels what others can't, and who approaches life differently than many. I'm very proud of who I am now, when I compare this person to the girl so many years ago. But some things are hard to get rid of, so when I hurt someone else with the insecurity and doubtfulness I still have, I just want their word that they know I hate what I've done, that I'm aware of it, and I'm striving to make it better. When I don't say "I love you," know that I do, and when I look the other way, know that maybe it's because all I want is for you to look at me.

It's been raining nonstop today. I mean, nonstop. Not one moment since it started pouring yesterday evening has it stopped raining. I'm just sitting here, staring at the window, and I have to wonder...where does it all come from?!

So, after wondering about that for a while, my thoughts shifted to the rain itself. Rain is such a natural thing; it's been a familiar routine of the Earth we've known since we were born. But if you really think about it long enough, doesn't it start seeming a little funny? For just a moment, you laugh at the idea of water falling from the sky. It lasts only for a few seconds, and then you lose the feeling and you're back to marveling at its completely natural and reasonable nature.

I love thinking like that. It's in these moments where I want nothing more than to pry the universe apart and figure out every last detail there is to know u_u.

But well, today's been really lethargic and calm for me, partially due to the rain, partially due to the fact that I actually got a full night's rest. I still feel awake at 10:51 PM and it's kind of freaking me out, because I'm usually tired by now. There's so much I do in a single day, you know?! Geez, I'm so awake, I think I'm going to write that English essay. And then, maybe after that, work on fanfiction. And then, after that, more homework! *Flail.*

So, for the most part this is a pointless journal update ;D. I just felt like writing a journal, and mentioning this freaking weird nonstop downpour of rain. (Seriously, if I wake up tomorrow and it's still raining, I'm gonna freak.) But I just want to know -- I mean, normally I write dA journals with either rants, reviews, or tag chains. I've been thinking about it, and I have to ask:

Would you rather I used my journal for serious stuff, life stuff, or both? Feel free to answer in a comment.

Personally, I've never been too interested in talking about real life stuff in journals because they don't concern everybody, and anybody who should know would learn it outside of dA, anyway. My general train of thought is that dA is my portfolio, not my diary. I like to keep serious, work-like stuff here and more bouncy pointless things away, with some occasional exceptions, which you guys have read. But are you interested in the bouncy pointless things?

I'm eager to read your feedback!

[EDIT]: Oh my god it's still raining. AHHHH!